What if your first job in life was to feel good?
Wait. . .what?
I know. That’s what I thought too when I first heard that statement in a course I took many years ago. Back then I thought it sounded weird, woo-woo and more than a little selfish. I thought it meant I had to put myself above all others and if I did that how could I make a difference?
Fast forward 10 years, I now think it’s not only your job, but your duty to feel good because here’s the thing. . .
How can you help others if you are exhausted, resentful and burned out?
Meet Sara. Like you, she questioned this concept when it first came up in our work together.
A passionate career woman running a thriving business, she hired me seven months before giving birth to her first child. She’d been running at a pace that was leading her to serious burn out and she needed help. She had become so used to doing things on her own and bending over backwards for her clients, she had nothing left for herself. Some days, the resentment she felt was like molten lava beneath the smiling facade. Over time, her business and then her personal life began to pay the price. She knew something was wrong, but wasn’t quite sure where to look or how to start making changes. She also knew she had to find a solution before the baby came.
I’m pretty sure you can relate to some aspect of Sara’s story.
Here’s the thing so many entrepreneurs forget:
If you’re not loving yourself first, there’s not much love to give to your clients.
Sara had to practice better self care, both for herself and the business. She began by committing to what I call a “feel good” activity every day; one action, consciously chosen every morning. One action taken for the sole purpose of feeling good.
Simple. Not necessarily easy.
Sara was pretty far gone by the time she called me and she could hardly come up with 5 actions. But over time, her list of go-to “feel good” activities grew longer, and her energy and passion for her work returned.
Here are a few of mine:
• Lunch with a friend once a week
• A day of silence
• 24 hours unplugged
• A 20 minute walk in the middle of my work day
• A chat with someone I love
• Pedicures because who doesn’t like pretty toes!
• Singing in a long hot shower
• 2 hours with a good mystery
• A massage
• Date with myself
And before you tell me you can’t, it’s not in the budget, etc.
Do it anyway.
I didn’t say spend a fortune. Notice my list above includes actions that are low or no-cost and they are as important as any others! Your “feel good” activities don’t have to be difficult or complicated. They simply have to leave you feeling good.
Seriously, it’s not rocket science; it’s whatever feels good – for you!
After a couple of weeks, Sara noticed significant changes – more energy, more passion, more love for her clients, the same ones she’d been resenting. To be clear, things didn’t transform over night. Like any practice, she had to commit and do the work to make the changes she wanted in her life.
Result?
By the time her baby was born 6 months later, her business was back on track and prepared for her maternity leave, she’d acquired new contracts, her current clients were happy, and her staff was practicing a little self love themselves.
And Sara?
Was bursting with love in all areas of her life!
“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” – Howard Thurman
Over to you:
• Come up with your own list of “feel good” activities.
• Experiment with 7 days of consciously planning one action of self care each day.
• Notice what comes up.
Sandi Amorim is a fiery coach and instigator on a mission to have you shine. She works with creative, entrepreneurial women who are tired of “someday, maybe” thinking and ready for her style of bold-hearted coaching. You can find her sharing her passion at Deva Coaching.
